Ep 24: Handling Emotional Turmoil- a Pep Talk & Some Self Care Tips for These Crazy Times!

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What a few weeks this has been in my life.

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So many of you have gone through

many emotions for multiple reasons.

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Depending on where you live in the

world, it could be politics, shifting

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energetic environment, we are living in.

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If you follow astrology, some

major things are closing I'm new

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things beginning and, oh my gosh.

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So much.

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With that, aye openly admit I

have been super dysregulated.

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Those of you don't know what that means.

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It's a term used to explain when

your nervous system is out of whack.

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Essentially when you are triggered and

your body is on high alert because it

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fears a danger, does not feel safe.

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And usually the four main modes

of response in that is either

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fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

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And I definitely fell into freeze.

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I literally felt blocking in my

heart chakra and my throat chakra.

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Hence why I hadn't recorded

an episode in a little bit.

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Why am I explaining all of this?

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Typically, when someone is very

emotional, they tend to react, right.

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I was observing myself as I was feeling

some heavy feelings around the election

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and also my own spiritual path and what

was next and putting all this pressure

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on myself of what's the right response.

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going through a Reiki detox where I'm

teaching Reiki, and I was officially

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diagnosed with celiac disease.

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I just sent myself down a spiral.

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There's just so much on my plate.

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And I don't think I could have

handled it the way I did without

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all of this previous practice that

was put into place in my life.

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What practice?

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Meditation.

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Daily Reiki.

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Sacred spiritual time and exploring

my connection to non-physical

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to the God source and really

leaning into a space of faith.

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Yes, I had a lot of fear come

up, but I was able to observe

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it all and see that it was fear.

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I wasn't of fear as much as

I felt the fear in my body.

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If that makes sense.

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So why am I bringing all this up?

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I keep preaching to all.

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About meditating, grounding

yourself, protecting your energy.

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And if you want to get involved in

some kind of energy work, whatever

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it may be, whatever these tools are

mindfulness practices like breath

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work, moving your body mindfully.

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Self care that doesn't involve

watching trashy TV, and wine,

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but more so like connecting with

nature and singing and dancing

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I keep talking about that because

that's the kind of stuff that

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you need to incorporate in your

life when things are going okay.

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Because when the shit hits the fan,

like it did for me personally over

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the past two weeks or so, I had to

rely on those tools to get me through.

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I'm telling you, I'm being honest.

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I was on the verge.

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I could feel myself

slipping into a depression.

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I could feel that dorsal

vagal shutdown on my body.

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I could have easily have just

crawled under the covers and hid

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from the world and not gotten

behind this microphone again.

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I felt it, and I know myself, this

can be one of my patterns, right?

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This is how my body

handles immense stress.

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Nervous system dysregulation,

not to mention.

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From an energetic,

spiritual point of view.

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I was feeling the collective energy.

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I still am.

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With that said.

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The typical response is a people

pleasers to give over your power.

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You feel so delicate and you feel

so sensitive in those moments that

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it's almost like you retreat into

your shell, like a turtle and you

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don't want to face the conflict.

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You don't want to deal with the tension,

the difficult feelings, difficult

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conversations you might have to have.

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Difficult changes and

adjustments, whatever it may be.

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We tend to freeze and then Fawn

Fawn means submitting giving away

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your power essentially to whomever

or whatever is in your path.

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But I didn't do that.

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So I'm actually really proud of myself

throughout this rough two weeks.

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I still was able to sit back.

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Observed myself, feel all my feelings,

let them go through my experience.

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I didn't clam up.

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I felt all the feels.

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I felt the highs.

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I felt the lows.

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I had tough conversations

with some people.

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I had tough conversations with myself.

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I was able to say to someone " the

election is very triggering for me.

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And I'm very dysregulate right now.

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Please do not talk about that with me."

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I was able to set a clear boundary.

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And this happened multiple times.

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People wanted to bring it up.

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And I would say, "I'm not in a

space to discuss this right now.

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That is not healthy for me."

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Let's discuss something else or

I don't want to talk about that.

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That's huge for people pleaser.

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That's huge.

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If you can agree with me right.

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That sounds scary, but it's also huge.

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And I didn't say it in a nasty way.

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I just was direct and

advocating for myself.

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I say all this because.

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Y'all.

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This is the, this is it.

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This is the people pleaser recovery.

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It's not some grandiose speech you give

to someone who you feel like you've been

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people pleasing with your whole life.

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It doesn't have to be that I can be.

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But really healing your people pleasing is

those moments of, what I'm in freeze mode.

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I need to get myself some

space today to process.

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I need a little bit of joy in my life.

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I need to do something that's

going to benefit my wellbeing.

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And putting that first, not feeling

guilty about it, knowing that's what

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you need to do to work through it.

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And also having the strength and

confidence and faith to know that you can

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sit with those uncomfortable feelings,

feeling like shit with your stomach

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cramped up and your chest feeling tight

because you are feeling all the feels.

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And knowing that you can work

through it and having the tools

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because you've meditated, you've

done all the things you've done

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the breath work you've built.

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Connections where you

feel safe sharing right.

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This is what people,

pleaser recovery looks like.

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In those moments, being able to

say to someone "I am not in a

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space to discuss this right now."

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" Please don't discuss

that topic with me" or.

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Saying to someone, this is

what I did with someone.

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I said, I am feeling very

dysregulated, very emotional and

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ungrounded and upset right now.

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I need space to work through

what I'm experiencing.

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It's my responsibility to

process my emotions and I'm

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not going to project it on you.

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And if we keep talking, I will,

and that's not healthy and that's

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not how I want to handle this."

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And I said the boundary, and then I didn't

talk to this person for a little bit

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because I was practicing what I preach.

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It's like you go through

all that training, right?

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I keep thinking.

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I think you have a novel fourth wing.

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And you're preparing for battle.

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You're going through all this training.

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You're trading on the mat.

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You're learning techniques.

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You're learning out, fly

on the dragons, right?

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And that's all great, but it's you

haven't really experienced the battle yet.

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You're just experiencing the techniques.

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But then a conflict arises.

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How you going to handle it?

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If you've done the training, when

things are calm, you're going

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to be able to kick into gear.

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And those will be instinctual

practices on hand how to handle it.

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But if you haven't done the prep, when

times are calm or, just somewhat neutral.

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Then you're going to give

in and fully sink into your

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nervous systems, deregulation.

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There's no shame in doing that

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that's your body trying to protect you.

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And there are tools out there to help

you cope, so you don't suffer as much.

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All of that is to say, Are you

going to be like violet Sorrengail?

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Are you going to learn the lessons

before the battle comes and then

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be the leader and be able to

objectively respond to conflicts,

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using the tools that you learned.

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That's my hope for you.

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That's what I feel like I did the past two

weeks and it came out on the other end.

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So much clearer on many topics.

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And so much more compassion for myself.

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Proud of myself.

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I maintained connections with

people as much as I was able to.

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And I was okay with having that distance

in people understood because I clearly

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communicated what I needed in the moment.

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It's this funny thing

that happens when you.

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Use these tools like

meditation, breath work, Reiki.

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To ground yourself, to work through

emotions, to clear through it.

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And you also add in clear communication

with the people around you, so they

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understand what's going on and no

one's sitting back thinking and

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wondering, and creating hypothetical

scenarios and getting mad at

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you or you getting mad at them.

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All because no one is communicating.

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Getting back to the point of

this little ditty for you here.

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Number one, you need to read

fourth wing if you have not.

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And then iron flame, the sequel.

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The third one, Onyx storm comes out.

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I can't remember sometime in 2025,

so if you're the type who wants

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the whole series done, maybe wait,

but highly recommend reading it.

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And then I've heard the graphic

audio book is really good.

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I haven't done that yet.

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Okay.

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That's your first task.

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Secondly, when you are.

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Finally settled.

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I don't know if you've been feeling

how I've been feeling, but when

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you finally reached that place of

some clarity, Can you have a little

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curiosity about what can I add in today?

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Just one little thing.

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What can I do that feels nice.

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Is that going for a walk?

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Is that meditating?

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Is that journaling whatever it may be.

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G gong, Tai Chi.

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You could learn dance.

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It doesn't matter what it is.

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What can you add in?

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That's not another thing to do.

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But something that is preparing you

for future battles, just like violet

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was prepared for some, there's some

shit that goes down on these books.

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I don't want to be a spoiler person, but.

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Anyway.

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I channeled my inner people pleaser

recovery warrior self, and was

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able to navigate these choppy

waters in a much healthier way.

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And then I would have seven years

ago, and both ways are valid, right?

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Like I'm not shaming.

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2016 me, I'm not doing that.

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She did the best she could with what she

knew and understood, and the tool she had.

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The change didn't just happen

because I made a wish and had a

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conversation with someone, right?

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Like it happened over time with

all these little pieces that I put

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into play when things were neutral.

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So then when I have these moments of

my life, I handle them a little bit

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differently because I'm a different

person because of those tools.

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I am not the same person I was in 2016.

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When I started on a deep

depression, I'm not that person.

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I love 2016 She did the best

she could with what she knew.

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But 2020 for me is.

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Pretty solid.

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She's rocking and rolling

with this recovery.

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Has she had some slip ups over time?

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Of course, but she felt

really proud of herself.

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So what can you celebrate and be

proud of about yourself right now?

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Because you are not the same

person you were in: 2016

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Whether you believe that

about yourself or not.

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We all change and grow.

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So what can you celebrate me proud of now?

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And what can you add in that

makes you feel prepared.

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That gives you a sense of

security, a sense of structure.

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That's going to help you start

to respond to life instead of

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reacting in the moment because

your nervous system is all muddled.

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Okay.

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I think I have drilled this point.

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I would love to hear what resonates with

you and what are your go to battle tools?

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If you will.

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Put it in the comments, shoot me an email.

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Let me know on social media,

whatever your fancy is.

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I'd love to hear that because

obviously I'm always growing and

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learning and healing myself, so I

would love to learn from you all.

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That said,

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have a wonderful week ahead.

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I really hope you enjoy

writing fourth wing.

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And if you have any other book

recommendations like that please send

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them my way because that's totally my jam.

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Okay.

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Thanks for listening to my diary

entry about the last two weeks.

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I love you mean it.